Friday, August 6, 2010

whispers of my love for you.

There are times when you must face reality and come to terms with it. I am not sure if you can call it an ache but I definitely sense a loss inside that has yet to go away. Sometimes it is a song we shared, a clip out of a movie, a word, a thought or nothing at all that makes me feel as if I am tumbling down a corridor to nowhere. I feel as if I am going about the actions but I am not necessarily one with the world around me. I do understand my part in this journey and the decisions made and all that which has surfaced from them. I feel torn.

shhhh I have whispered words of love and from the heart they fall for when I was with you and by your side, I truly had it all. When the rain hits your cheek may you think of me and as the my tears surface from inside, I'll wake in prayer that this was all nothing but a dream.

Help Me!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Intimate whispers...my darling I love you more with each breath that escapes from the depths of my being.

There was a good bit that was left to interpretation and depending on whether you allow your heart or your soul to define the moment becomes the deciding factor in how you deal with life.

Soft sweet whispers from my heart to yours
from my soul to the one I adore,
soft sweet whispers to you as I whispers
words of my love for you

I came to terms with the facts that I cannot be responsible for all that happens in life and through the gates of love I find an unusual array of emotions just waiting to be explored. I have treaded in deep waters where lust anchored the soul down, but it wasn't till I felt your love that I surfaced to the shore to feel your arms around.

I don't feel so well, this is one of those moments that I not only one to feel the warmth of your embrace but need to feel the power of your holding me close.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Once upon a time

Not all stories written have a happily ever after endings and some even have a moral. Many stories were written on a thread of truth and passed down through the generations.

Once upon a time there lived a maiden, who spent her days in the garden and with the animals of the hollow. The hills were many and the tree's thick that she could never see beyond the horizon. Many spoke of her existence, but theynever went down into the hollow to see the maiden. The maiden thought this meant she was ugly and wasn't very smart and she refused to challenge the boundaries made by the hollow. Some of the restraints could not be seen by man nor animal but chained the mind so severely that the maiden was drowning in sorrow and loneliness. She took refuge to her bedroom and rarely stepped again into the hills of the hollow. She lay there trapped by the barriers of her mind and she no longer could hear the birds sing and the sun shine, she began to whither from the tears that flooded from the soul.
When all seemed impossible and darkness filled the hollow, a crack of light came through the trees. She woke from the dark spell that had been cast upon her and she saw a man, he was young and smart and attractive. He came to her for help and she felt a warmth grow inside of her by this extraordinary young mans need for help. Months went by and many things had happened and the maiden began to feel pretty and to smile again, she took to gardening and tending to the animals of the hollow. The young stranger who breathed life into the maiden found his needs filled and had to return to the far away land in which he lived. The maiden again felt sorrow and she spoke softly to him" " don't leave I will be lonely again!" the young man wise beyond his years said "no you will not be lonely, you are beautiful and you are smart and you will seek the company of others." The maiden distraught cried " I don't want others I want you"
Days and weeks passed the young stranger returned to his homeland and the maiden met another stranger, the faceless man appeared to the maiden. He had a sense of humor and he made the maiden of the hollow laugh and laugh. Everything she did he knew the next step, he was not only smart but he was exciting. She felt such energy from the faceless man, she felt the beat of his heart and she began to dance in the clouds. Each day people outside the hollow would gaze into the sky to see the beautiful maiden dancing on the clouds. Months and years went by, the maiden became stronger and stepped beyond the hollow. The faceless one rarely came around anymore but she so wanted so to see him and to laugh and smile and dance upon the clouds. The faceless one spoke in riddles and the maiden of the hollow was confused by the message.
The maiden of the hollow did not understand the visits of the various strangers. Why did they come so quickly into her life and so quickly disappear? The maiden felt lost and though she went about her day she wondered what happened to the strangers and she wanted them to come back.
One day something magical happen another stranger came by, he was different than the others, he had the look of a king and he had a heart so wide that she could feel his embrace from the very first moment. He showered down upon her like magic from the heavens. When she wanted to quit he nudged her gently, when she wanted to run he held her hand so she would slow down. He pulled her down from the clouds and taught her how to walk carefully through the doors of reality. Still troubled the maiden began like a puzzle to put the pieces of her life together. She opened the invisible door of the hollow and she went out into the world. She walked through life knowing she would never be alone again, She now understood that the strangers were leading her down a path all along and that from the very beginning she was not alone.
The king had many responsibilities and she weeped as he return to his kingdom to fulfill his destiny. But the maiden kept something from each she kept their love tucked away safely in her heart and whenever the tears would flow the sky would take on the bluest of blue and the sun would shine. People say to this day that if you look into the sky on a hot summer day, you can still see the maiden and the many hearts she holds close.



Sunday, July 4, 2010

Friday, July 2, 2010

willpower

I spend each day thinking about not thinking about you. It is in truth that peace is found and in peace that my soul is released to soar free above the darkness that now prevails. In making sense of that which does not my heart weeps and the ache is irreversible.

If you knew the affect upon my being,
would it change the way you avoided speaking the truth.?

~
Surfacing above denial is the ultimate in truth.

~
Is it a fault to not understand or just plain stupidity?

~

Was it I saw or didn't see?
~

I guess there is more in life to worry about but
nothing scars more heavily upon the heart than love lost.


~




I Surrender


I can't battle the feelings I am torn up
from inside, something happened
that I can't deny.

From the moment you said hello, till
the you said goodbye, my heart has
been troubled like broken
stars falling down from the sky.

I surrender, I gave to you my heart
and what you chose to do with it
was blow out the spark.

It didn't happen, the flame is still
inside and when I look back a
fond memory resides .





Could it be I refused to listen? or that I heard and didn't want to believe.

Fireworks

I declare it must be an obsession, this love I have for you, for there is no barrier large enough to block what I feel for you. In your absence my hearts knows the void and feels the ache and my mind races like a cheetah wild and on the run. I say " heart, what is your are doing? " and to that my hearts response and" it wasn't actually something said or something people do the connection that lit fireworks is when my soul merged to one with you." Than why does it hurt so and why doesn't it mends it way? The heart spoke to the soul and soul chose to reply" rare is the heart that ask for nothing in return, but simply cared for and so warmly loved" The tears now heavy I can hardly hold them back, for I know that I felt the energy and through my heart is pierced, like a dagger I felt it going in and still I have not felt it pulling back.


Fireworks only happens when you ignite the wick and
find yourself amazed at the dazzling explosion on display.

It hurts because I know the truth...

Sunday, June 27, 2010

I believed and so it was easy to give you my heart.

...and you never said goodbye!


Put your head on my pillow,,, mmmm and I'll whisper in your ear. Oh! baby I love you, I love you dear. Open your arms and hold me tight, I'll love you forever and these feelings I won't fight....... I'm in love, yes it is true, I"m in love, from the first time I met you. You sang with my heart, you danced with my soul, you made love to my being in a ever lasting hold. Oh! baby, I love you, I love you dear.

L
O
V
E

U

I don't know what is happening, I don't how you cast that spell, but once I was in heaven and I stood at the gates of hell. I bartered with the devil, "you can have my soul, if I can have his love and on this earth forever hold. " The devil he just laughed, ' I can't take the credit, no contract do we have, as someone else has brought together and to heaven you'll transcend" Why do I feel such and ache? why did he stop from loving? why did he leave and my heart break?" No one seems to answer, not even the angels from above and so I ask once more is this the way my life will end? The darkness places a blanket and another day is gone and i can't help from wanting the arms of love to hold me strong. Tears no longer falling, no song can I hear, the dance upon the heavens has all but disappeared.

Silly, silly, silly moments, I can't stop from loving you, so I close my eyes once more to sleep and dream my dreams of loving you.

There is an emptiness where once was a spark,
from the moment you went away and took my heart.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Life Goes On

There is a big difference between our expectations and reality. I am not quite sure exactly what it is that bothers me more, that life isn't carrying on as usual or that the outcome isn't as expected. Maybe it's a little bit of both. I do know for certain that is has to do with energy. There is a variety of sources that stimulate in an inspirational and fun kind of way.

I am here, I am here my love,
I am the morning sunlight,
the stars at night and the energy
that flows through my veins can
exhaust the soul in flight.

I am the song, I am the song you
have yet to hear, the words of my
heart meant only for your ears.

I am here, I am here my love,
I am the morning sunlight,
the stars at night and the energy
that flows through my veins can
exhaust the soul in flight.

I am the dance, the dance upon the
clouds, with you I'm the embrace of
love that from the heavens has fallen
down.

I am here, I ma here my love,
I am the morning sunlight,
the stars at night and the energy
that flows through my veins can
exhaust the soul in flight.

~


Monday, June 21, 2010

I don't think you can ever truly let go,
for that witch forged its way into your
heart cannot be easily stripped from
it without damaging the soul.


Thursday, June 17, 2010

I can't forget what is one with my heart...

~

It is sorrow which blankets heavily upon the moment.

~
I weep for the end is the death of my soul.


Friday, June 11, 2010

and times goes on.

I am torn with mixed feelings,
one that I truly thought I knew him,
to find that I only knew what he wanted me to know.

~
It's been quoted that time heals,
I think it prematurely scabbed over
as deep inside it still festers.
~
I so wanted to believe in the Fairytale love.
~
It's a chocolate bar moment.

~
I refuse to allow hate into the equation.
~
The fantasy has nothing on reality.
~
There is an old adage" it is not until you have something taken away do you know what you missed or absence indeed makes the heart grow fonder. "I never knew it was possible to love in such away, until I felt that ache inside of me.

~
Standing in the Y of the road, turns right!
~
I would have been a bigger fool had I not
chanced to open the doorway to love.

~
One life, I thank God for the experience!




Sunday, June 6, 2010

The Lost Chapter

Lost in darkness,
filled with despair,
barriers built of
common fear.

The pain lingers as does his memory.


In my desperate attempt to make sense of that
which does not I found myself grasping aimlessly
into the abyss.

The void remains as with his absence so went my heart.

There are no more tears left to fall.

If only he could have loved me a little bit more.

So goes my heart...


It is in the silence that I hear the loudest of voice.

I would cry once more if the tears would erase his memory.
~
To reverse the hands of time and spare my heart.

~








Tuesday, June 1, 2010

The whispers of the heart

I vowed to my heart a place in time where our love shall forever reign and as I placed my lips to the wind I crossed the barriers that life had made. Confusion carefully unmasked and the revelation all will see is that love indeed conquers all when at first you dare to believe. The storms of life were moving, the rays of sun reflecting off my breast, for I stand before you heart and soul without the flesh. Feel the tenderness meant only for your hands and the whispers in the wind a treasure one cannot demand I vowed to my heart a place in time where our love shall forever reign and as I placed my lips to the wind I crossed the barriers that time indeed had made

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Ugh

Every time you go away,
it's like losing you all over again.

~

If my heart but a puzzle than the pieces are in disarray
and I am certain I can replace the ones that have blown away.



Sunday, March 14, 2010

Weep not of the days gone by

It is in our ability to comprehend at some point the trials and understand on the surface the lessons that reality will bestow upon us. In doing so we will find a new page is written. In all actuality that which brings us together is only complicated by the outside world and what we believe they will find acceptable. In our youth the same experiences in which today are not heightened or seen in the same context as our maturity levels are different. The ache in which we feel in our heart creates and overwhelming desire to bring a measure of reasoning to the moment.
I tried to look at life with a different perspective, but as time life speaks in a truth that rises to the occasion and sheds a different light upon the moment. Our wants, our hunger and our needs are what makes us different from any other creature that walks the earth. With one thought we can trouble the mind, confuse the heart and mislead the soul. The pain unequal to any physical injury as the scars go for years unseen.
I find that at times I am exhausted at merely trying to file accordingly the experiences and place a reasoning to each individual experience. In one sense I feel as if the moment is taking me down the path of a new journey and at other times I want to completely hide behind the world. Trying to find the balance is not easy, to run and hide and yet stand up for oneself.
When you take the experiences and review you find that there are many ways to look at one situation. What I have learned? Why did it happen? What does it leave in me? When will I heal? Or will I heal? There are so many questions and still I don't have all the answers. This for sure I know is that yes the more you look, the more ways you can interpet. I am sure of this, I have felt a love of souls, I allowed it in my heart, one with spirit, one in thought, I have loved and forgotten not. I cannot make anyone see nor make him understand or believe, but this I know is surely true, love had surfaced with the love of you.

~
Weep not of the days gone by,
they gave us laughter,
they made us cry.

We danced in the heavens,
we embraced in the night,
our souls entwined while
still in flight.

Weep not of the days gone by,
they gave us laughter,
they made us cry.

We lived, we loved and a
chapter we left of the day
when our hearts had met.

Weep not of the days gone by,
they us laughter,
they made us cry.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

I gave him my heart,
I gave him the key,
he took all my loving
and said goodbye to me.

I gave him my dreams,
I gave him my faith,
he took all like a game,
he didn't believe.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

and what a chapter it was.

Was it lies that held me,
actions of a lustful soul,
did you ever really care,
or was I simply the fool?

Did you ever sense my
love, did you know I
needed you, or was it
just another game that
lustful people do?

~
In Biology it's all about dissecting!

I took each moment,the ones I
shared with you, dissecting the
heart and soul,to see if you ever
loved me true.

Was your heart cold, did you never
let me in, was it all for nothing and
does the story have an end?

I felt something moving, touch my
heart of love, I thought for sure you
cared and the heaven sent your love.

The days were awfully lonely, I
so wanted you here, I thought
that you wanted me like I wanted
you my dear.

My heart was broken, my soul
cried out for you, I felt like the
angels failed to get my love to
you.

Tears kept on falling, they never
quite went away and so I write
the story to help the heartache
fade.

I wished only but to see you, to
hold your hand but once and
whisper intimately of my most
precious love.

Somethings just aren't meant
to be, and lies a poor foundation
lay, because love can't strengthen
when it tumbles from a foundation
like that of crumbling clay.

~
I remember laughter, I remember
smiles and sometimes I remember
the crossing of the miles.

I believe some common threads
were weaved between us two,
you never sat in judgement and
you make the sky always seem
more blue.


My heart isn't sorry, it knew our
love was real, but I am sure you
were afraid to let your heart feel.

You never said goodbye, you never
said goodbye, you never said goodbye
you just went away.

Oh I cry for the moment, I fear for the
day, I thought that you understood,
the love we both had made.

Sorrow had entered, I felt the signs of
despair, it took seven years of dreams
in the hopes you'd be here.

Foolish is the spirit which thinks life can
change, but you my friend had turned
away from the love I gave.

Weep not of yesterday, no sadness in
the air, for love had entered the heart,
even though you disappeared.

~
When one loves anything is possible,
when two love the reality mixes with
dreams to fuse into a majestic display
of true happiness.
`
If only you would have asked,
If only you would have said,
If only you would have trusted,
this would be the beginning
and not the end.





My
heart
aches,
My soul cries out,
we wrote a hell of
a chapter and to this
day I claim, that it had to
be love or I was madly insane.


Thursday, February 4, 2010

Different Dreams

I wanted you to see as my heart saw it, hear as my soul spoke it and love and I dreamt love should be and then I realized we were two very different people, with very different dreams.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

How many times can a heart be broken,
is it possible to ever heal? When dreams
are all but shattered and the inside is
now revealed.


~
I weep for all that will never be...
~
Ten times a thousand daggers, oh heart! the pain in me,
to build a bridge that now collapses and abandons all my dreams.